SAINT EDITH STEIN
TWO DIALOGUES
I. Ambrose
and
Augustine,
II. Queen
Esther
and the Carmel
For
December 7, 1940, Feast
of St Ambrose:
(Hear Augustine, Confessions IX, and Ambrose, Deus Creator Omnium)
mbrose
(kneeling in his room before
the opened Holy Scriptures):
ow
the last one
is gone. I thank you, O Lord,
For
this quiet hour in the night.
You
know how much I like to serve
your flock;
I
want to be a good shepherd to
your lambs,
That's
why this door is open day
and night,
And
anyone can enter unannounced.
Oh,
how much suffering and bitter
need is brought in here
The
burden becomes almost too great
for this father's heart.
But
you, my God, you surely know
our weakness
And
at the right time remove the
yoke from our shoulders.
You
give me rest, and from this
book,
The
holy book, you speak to me
And
pour new strength into my soul.
(He
opens it, makes a great sign
of the cross, and begins to read silently.)
Augustine
(appears in the door and
remains standing, hesitant):
He
is alone. I could go to him
And
let him know the struggles
of my heart.
But
he is speaking with his God,
Seeking
rest and refreshment in
the Scriptures
After
a long day's work and care.
Oh
no, I'll not disturb him.
I'll
kneel down a little here;
Then
I'll surely take something
of his peace with me.
(He
kneels.)
Ambrose
(looks up):
What
was that? Didn't I hear a
rustling at the door?
(He
gets up.)
Come
closer, friend, you who come
at night.
In
the dark I cannot see who you
are.
(He
goes to the door with the lamp.)
Is
it possible? Augustine? Peace
be with you!
You
dear, infrequent guest, please
do come in.
(He
takes him by the hand, leads
him in, shows him a seat, and sits down facing him.)
Augustine:
Oh,
how your goodness shames me,
holy man!
I
really have not earned such a
welcome.
Ambrose:
Don't
you remember how happily
I greeted you
When
you stood here before me for
the first time?
You,
the star of oratory
That
stirred Carthage to amazement,
That
did not even find its match
in Rome,
I
was happy to see
Within
the confines of my Milan.
Augustine:
Oh,
if you had only seen into my
heart!
I
wasn't worthy to be seen by you.
Ambrose:
I
saw you often when I spoke to
the people.
Your
burning eye hung on my lips.
Augustine:
Your
mouth overflowed with heavenly
wisdom.
But
I was not interested in wisdom.
I
did not come for wisdom.
I
only heard how you put together
the
words;
Only
an orator's magic power attracted
me.
That,
what you spoke Christ's
holy doctrine
I
wasn't eager to know, it seemed
like vanity to me,
Already
refuted by my teachers
long ago.
But
while I listened to the words
alone,
I
was drawn I hardly noticed it
into the meaning.
One
word of Scripture oft
repeated
Deeply
affected me and gave me
much to think about:
"The
letter deadens," you said,
"The spirit gives life."
When
the Manichæans laughed
over the Word of Christ,
Was
not this because those fools
Only
understood what they were
reading literally,
While
the spirit remained sealed
to them?
Ambrose:
But
the Holy Spirit's ray fell
on you.
Thank
him who freed you from error's
chains,
And
thank her, too, who interceded
for you.
O
Augustine, thank God for your
mother.
She
is your angel before the eternal
throne;
Her
commerce is in heaven, and
her petitions
Fall,
like steady drops, heavily
into the bowl
Of
compassion.
Augustine:
Yes,
I surely know what would I
have become without her?
Oh,
how many hot tears did I cost
her,
I,
her unfaithful son, who really
don't deserve it!
Ambrose:
Therefore,
she now weeps sweet
tears of joy,
And
she is richly rewarded for
all her suffering.
Augustine:
She
already wept tears of joy when
she perceived
That
I had escaped the Manichæan
net.
I
was still deep in night, tormented
by doubts.
But
she assured me optimistically
That
the day of peace was now no
longer far away.
While
still alive, she was to see
me entirely safe.
Ambrose:
The
Lord himself probably gave
her certainty.
Her
firm faith did not mislead
her.
Augustine:
But
I still had a long way to go.
My
teaching post had become unbearable
for me.
The
frivolous game of the orator's
art rankled me.
I
sought truth, and I no longer
desired to waste
The
spirit of my youth in colorful
pretense.
From
Milan I fled into isolation.
My
spirit brooded in unrest.
Ambrose:
I
waited here for you how much
I wanted
With
God's help to guide you to
the harbor!
Augustine:
Oh,
how often I stood here on this
threshold!
You
did not see. There came crowds
of people
Who
sought help from the good shepherd.
I
looked on for a little while
and then silently went away.
At
times I also came upon you alone,
like today,
Immersed
in the study of your beloved
books.
Then
I did not risk shortening
your meager rest.
I
knelt here a little near you
And
discreetly slipped away. Today,
too,
It
would have happened thus if
you had not discovered me.
Ambrose:
Thank
my angel who led my eye to
you.
But
tell me now what brought you
here.
Augustine:
I
already wrote you that God's
ray lit on me.
Before
my eyes stood all the misery
of my life.
It
choked me, clamped my chest,
I
could no longer breathe at home
And
fled out into the open.
In
the garden I sought a quiet
place,
Fled
into the presence of the faithful
friend himself.
Finally,
a stream of tears burst
forth.
Then
from a neighbor's house there
urged itself on me
A
child's voice singing clearly.
I
heard the words, "Take and read."
Again
and again it rang in my ears
As
children endlessly repeat.
But
to me it comes from another
world:
It
is the call of the Lord! I leap
up
And
rush to Alypius who is still
sitting and thinking.
The
book lies beside him where
I was reading it.
I
open it. There stands for me
the instruction;
I
found it clear in the Apostle's
word:
"Give
up feasting and carousing
at last,
Arise
from the bed of soft sensory
lust.
Renounce
all the contention of
frivolous ambition.
Look
instead at Jesus Christ, the
Lord."
Then
the night receded, and day
began
I
took to the road in the presence
of the Lord,
My
friend Alypius hand in hand
with me.
Ambrose:
Thank
God, who had mercy on you!
How
wonderful are your ways, Lord!
Augustine:
I
wrote to you and asked for your
advice.
You
recommended to me a good teacher.
In
the prophecy of Isaiah I found
The
servant of God, the lamb, that
suffered for us.
And
things grew brighter and brighter
in my eyes.
We
did not rush, yet let us now
speak to you
In
longing and in humility:
Lead
us to the baptismal font and
wash us clean.
Ambrose:
Oh,
bless you, my beloved son!
There
is no one whom I have led
with greater joy
To
the holy bath that gives new
life.
Come
soon and bring me your faithful
friend.
Augustine:
There
is yet a third person whom
we are leading to you:
Adeodatus,
my beloved child.
No
doubt a child of sin through
my fault;
But
now the child of grace through
God's goodness.
He
is a youth, almost still a boy
in years,
But
with more wisdom than his father.
He
brings the Lord an undefiled
heart,
And
it is pure hearts who see God.
Ambrose:
So
soon a thrice-blessed day will
beam for us.
O
Augustine, don't look back into
the dark anymore.
Before
me now radiant lies your
path.
The
light that God ignited in your
heart,
Will
shine brightly into the farthest
times,
The
whole church will be filled
with it.
And
countless hearts will be inflamed
By
the love consuming your great
heart.
Oh
look with me up to the throne
Of
the thrice Holy One!
Don't
you hear the choir of holy
spirits?
They
sing their holy songs of praise
Full
of thanks in inexpressibly
great joy,
Because
the lost son has found
his way to the Father.
(Both
stand listening; then Ambrose
intones:)
Ambrose:
Te Deum...
Augustine (sings
the second half-verse, then alternately together with the invisible
choirs.)
When I found this
on the Web I was
not yet Catholic, nor Edith Stein yet canonized. So moved was I by it
that
it in turn became like that book Augustine let drop at his conversion
to
Catholicism. We sang less Ambrose's Te Deum than we did
Newman's
Lead
Kindly Light in Italian in our tiny Chapel ablaze with light at
Candlemas
at my Crismation, 2 February 1998.
This next Dialogue also so deeply
moved me that, though I tried to excise it, I found I could not.
Especially
not today, Edith Stein's Feast Day. Compare it with Francesca
Alexander,
The Madonna and the Gypsy and with St John
of the Cross .
For 9 August, Feast of St Teresa
Benedicta of the Cross
other (at
night in her cell, having fallen asleep while writing; awakens with a
start):
he
pen fell from my tired hand.
So
much I still intended to do
today.
Yet
midnight is near and nature
Demands
her due and won't be pressured.
I'll
try to finish just this one
letter.
(Writes
a little; her head again
sinks onto the table two clangs of the bell she jumps up):
The
turn now in the middle of the
night?
(Someone
knocks.)
Now
there's a rapping at the door
it's opening. My Jesus, help!
A womanly form (enters, dressed
like a pilgrim;
speaks):
Peace
be with you!
Oh,
don't be afraid! What's approaching
you at night
Is
a supplicant who has no other
weapons
Than
raised hands.
Mother:
Oh,
so speak!
I'll
gladly do whatever you ask
If
it's within my power. The fear
has vanished.
Your
word is mild and your expression
peaceful.
It
seems to me to be coming from
eternity,
And
it arouses a longing for heaven
in my heart.
So
come and rest. You've surely
traveled a long way.
(Points
her to a seat.)
Stranger:
Thank
you for your goodness. Yes,
I have traveled far
From
land to land and from door
to door.
I
am seeking lodgings.
Mother:
Looking
for lodgings? How the word
touches me!
I
am reminded of that pure one,
the Immaculate,
Who
once about this time also sought
lodgings
.
(Kneels
down):
Oh
tell me! Are you she herself,
the Virgin Mother?
Stranger
(raises her up):
I
am not she but I know her very
well,
And
it is my joy to serve her.
I
am of her people, her blood,
And
once I risked my life for this
people.
You
recall her when you hear my
name.
My
life serves as a image of hers
for you.
Mother:
A
riddle, unusually hard to understand
How
am I to grasp it?
You
are a woman whom we recognize
as an "example"?
You
staked your life for your people?
And
you certainly had no weapon,
either, then,
Except
those hands raised in supplication?
So
are you Esther, then, the queen?
Esther:
That
is what people called me.
You know my fate.
Mother:
As
much as is in the holy books.
It
always touched me: As a tender
child
You
lost your father and your mother.
Esther:
The
good uncle was father to me
and mother.
But
no he led me to the real Father,
The
Father of all of us high in
heaven.
My
uncle's heart burned hot with
passion,
In
holy ardor for God and for his
people.
He
raised me for them. So I grew
up
Far
from home and yet protected
As
in the temple's quiet sanctuary.
I
read the holy Scriptures of these
people,
Who
were now enslaved in a strange
land,
And
fervently implored that a savior
come to them.
Mother:
Like
our dear Lady, and also like
her,
Suddenly
an unforeseen fate befell
you.
Esther:
The
king's messengers traveled
throughout the land
To
look for the most beautiful
bride for the king.
I
was called to the palace before
I knew it.
The
eye of the Lord fell on the
poor maidservant.
Mother:
When
I read of it in the Book of
Books,
My
heart became so heavy that it
seemed to me
I
saw your soul full of deep pain
And
unshed tears.
Esther:
It
was hard indeed.
Yet
it was God's will, and I remained
The
poor maidservant of the Lord
at the king's palace.
My
faithful uncle followed after
me.
He
often came to the palace's door
and brought news
Of
our people's needs and danger.
So
there came the day when I approached
the king
To
plead for rescue from the deadly
enemy.
Life
or death hung on his gaze.
I
leaned on the shoulders of my
maid.
But
I was not alarmed before my
husband's wrath.
The
eye that met mine was entirely
friendly.
In
full favor, he handed me the
scepter.
Then
my spirit was borne out of
time and place.
High
in the clouds there was another
throne,
On
which there sits the Lord of
Lords, before whom pales
The
earthly lord's vain glory.
He
himself, the Eternal, bowed
down
And
promised me the salvation of
my people.
I
sank down before the throne of
the Highest as though dead.
I
found myself again in the arms
of my husband.
He
addressed me lovingly and said
that any wish
Whatever
it might be he would grant
to me.
This
is how the highest Lord freed
his people
Through
Esther, his maidservant,
from the hands of Haman.
Mother:
And
today another Haman
Has
sworn to annihilate them in
bitter hate.
Is
this in fact why Esther has
returned?
Esther:
You're
the one who says so
Yes,
I am traveling through the
world
To
plead for lodgings for the homeless,
The
people so scattered and trampled
That
still cannot die.
Mother:
How
unusual!
Don't
you die as other people die?
Were
you carried off like Elijah
Who,
as people say, also wanders
as a pilgrim?
Esther:
I
died a human death, was buried
With
royal pomp; but an angel accompanied
My
soul, its guardian,
To
the place of peace; it found
its rest
in
Abraham's bosom with its ancestors.
Mother:
In
the bosom of Abraham like Lazarus?
Esther:
Like
all who faithfully have served
the Lord
As
their ancestors did. We waited
there in peace,
Still
far from the light, so always
in longing.
But
there came a day when, through
all of creation,
There
occurred a fissure. All the
elements seemed
To
be in revolt, night enveloped
The
world at noon. But in the midst
of the night
There
stood, as if illumined by
lightning, a barren mountain,
And
on the mountain a cross on
which someone hung
Bleeding
from a thousand wounds;
a thirst came over us
To
drink ourselves well from this
fountain of wounds.
The
cross vanished into night,
yet our night
Was
suddenly penetrated by a new
light,
Of
which we had never had any idea:
a sweet, blessed light.
It
streamed from the wounds of
that man
Who
had just died on the cross;
now he stood
In
our midst. He himself was the
light,
The
eternal light, that we had
longed for from of old,
The
Father's reflection and the
salvation of the people.
He
spread his arms wide and spoke
With
a voice full of heavenly timbre:
Come
to me all you who have faithfully
served
The
Father and lived in hope
Of
the redeemer; see, he is with
you,
He
fetches you home to his Father's
kingdom.
What
happened then, there are no
words to describe.
All
of us who had awaited blessedness,
We
were now at our goal in the
heart of Jesus.
Mother:
That's
enough, or my heart will
break
In
longing for such great blessedness.
But
no speak further, speak of
the homeland!
Esther:
Now
in the mirror of eternal clarity,
I saw
What
happened after that on earth.
I
saw the church grow out of my
people,
A
tenderly blooming sprig, saw
that her heart was
The
unblemished, pure, shoot of
David.
I
saw flowing down from Jesus'
heart
The
fullness of grace into the
Virgin's heart.
From
there it flows to the members
as the stream of life.
And
again there came a day when
she the Blessed One
Was
borne on high by a choir of
angels
Up
to the throne of the Almighty.
Her
head was adorned with a crown
of stars
And
like the sun she was bathed
in heavenly light.
But
now I knew that I was bound
to her
From
eternity in accordance with
God's direction forever.
My
life was only a beam of hers.
Mother:
And
you left this blessed light
To
tread the paths of earth again?
Esther:
That
is her will, and mine as well.
The
church had blossomed, but the
masses
Of
the people remained distant,
far from the Lord
And
his mother, enemies of the
cross.
The
people are in confusion and
cannot find rest,
An
object of disdain and scorn:
It
will be thus until the final
battle.
But
before the cross appears again
in heaven,
Even
before Elijah comes to gather
his own,
The
good Shepherd goes silently
through the lands.
Now
and then he gathers from the
depths of the abyss
A
little lamb, shelters it at his
heart.
And
then others always follow him.
But
there above at the throne of
grace
The
Mother ceaselessly pleads for
her people.
She
seeks souls to help her pray.
Then
only when Israel has found
the Lord,
Only
then when he has received
his own,
Will
he come in manifest glory.
And
we must pray for this second
coming.
Mother:
Like
once the first I understand
exactly.
You
were the pathfinder for the
first coming.
Now
you are clearing the way to
the kingdom of glory.
You
came to me do I now understand
the message?
The
Queen of Carmel sent you.
Where
else was she to find hearts
prepared
If
not in her quiet sanctuary?
Her
people, which are yours: your
Israel,
I'll
take it up into the lodgings
of my heart.
Praying
secretly and sacrificing
secretly,
I'll
take it home to my Savior's
heart.
Esther:
You
have understood, and so I can
depart.
I
am sure the guest will not be
forgotten
Who
came to you at the hour of
midnight.
We'll
meet again on the great day,
The
day of manifest glory,
When
above the head of the Queen
of Carmel
The
crown of stars will gleam brilliantly,
Because
the twelve tribes will
have found their Lord.
Farewell!
Edith
Stein become the Carmelite, Sister Teresa Benedicta of the Cross,
and died at Auschwitz. In 1999, to inaugurate the Jubilee of 2000,
Saints
Birgitta
of Sweden , Catherine of
Siena
and Edith Stein were proclaimed Patronesses of
Europe.
Copyright ICS Publications.
Permission is hereby granted for any
non-commercial use, if this copyright notice is included: ICS
Publications,
2131 Lincoln Road, NE, Washington, DC 20002, USA (phone: 202-832-8489
or
800-832-8489; fax: 202-832-8967). Maintained
by the Austrian
Province of the Teresian Carmel.
JULIAN
OF NORWICH, HER SHOWING OF LOVE AND ITS CONTEXTS ©1997-2008
JULIA BOLTON HOLLOWAY ||
JULIAN
OF NORWICH || SHOWING
OF LOVE || HER TEXTS || HER
SELF || ABOUT HER TEXTS || BEFORE
JULIAN || HER CONTEMPORARIES || AFTER
JULIAN || JULIAN IN OUR TIME || ST
BIRGITTA OF SWEDEN || BIBLE
AND WOMEN || EQUALLY
IN GOD'S IMAGE ||
MIRROR
OF SAINTS || BENEDICTINISM ||
THE
CLOISTER || ITS
SCRIPTORIUM || AMHERST
MANUSCRIPT ||
PRAYER ||
CATALOGUE
AND PORTFOLIO (HANDCRAFTS, BOOKS ) ||
BOOK
REVIEWS || BIBLIOGRAPHY
||
