
' I. am no3t .I. haf
no3t. nou3t .I. seke
ne coveite bot þe luf of ihesu
'
British Library, Harley 6579, fol. 88v.
[From
Table of Contents in MS, fols. 141-143v] An entre how a soule shall haue hire in
mouyng & werkyng, þat wole come to þis reformyng,
by ensaumple of a pilgrym
goyng to Ierusalem, & of twey maner mekenes.
21. An
introduction as to how a soul should behave in purpose and in practice
if it wants to come to this reforming, through the example of a pilgrim
going to Jerusalem; and the two kinds of humility.
[Fol.
84] þat a man þat will come to Ierusalem, þat is vndirstonde þe cite of pees, þe wich is contemplacioun, moste holde hym lowe in meknes & in faith, &
suffer disese bothe bodely & gostly.
everþeles
for þu coueites for to have sum
maw writynge by þe
whilke þu mi3tes þe raþer nei3en to þat
reformynge .I. schal say þe as me þinkiþ bi
þe
grace of oure lord ihesu
<þe shortest & þe rediest helpe
þat I knowe in þis wirkynge>. And how þat schal be .I.
schal telle þe by exaumple of a good pilgrym
upon þis wise:
þer was a man þat wold gon to ierusalem & for he knewe
not þe weye he come to an oþer man þat he hopid knewe
þe way þeder &
asked wheþer he mi3te
come to þat cite
& þat oþer man seide to him þat he mi3te not come
þeder withoute grete disese & mikil trauaile for þe wey
is longe & periles and
grete . of þefes & robbers
&
many oþer/[fol. 84v]
lettynges þat ben þat fallen to
a
man in þe goyng. & also þer are mony sare weies . as it
semiþ ledand þederward . Bot men alday are slayn &
dispoiled & mown not comyn
to þat place þat þei
coveiten. Neverþeles
þer is .o. wey þe
whilke who so
takiþ hit & holdiþ it: he wolde undirtake. þat
he schude come to þe Cite of ierusalem
ne schulde never less his lif.
ne be slayn. ne dye for defaute: ne schulde often be robbed
& yuel betyn. &
suffren mikel disese in þe goynge &
bot he schulde ay hav his lif safe. 'þan saiþ þe
pilgrim if it be so þat I may have my lif safe &
come to
þat place þat I coveite: .I. charge not what
meschef .I.
suffre in þe goynge & þerfore
say me what
þu wilt & sothly .I. bihote for to don aftir þe:
þat oþer man answeres & says
þus.
lo .I. sette þe
in þe ri3t wey. þis is þe wey. & þat þu kepe
þe lerynge þat .I.
lernis þe.
Nevertheless,
because you desire to have some kind of practice by which you could
approach that reforming more quickly, I shall tell you by the grace of
our Lord Jesus what seems to me the shortest and promptest aid that I
know in this work. And how that shall be I will tell you in this
manner, through the example of a good pilgrim.
There was a
man wanting to go to Jerusalem, and because he did not know the way he
came to another man who he thought knew it and asked whether he could
reach that city. The other man told him he could not get there without
great hardship and labour, for the way is long and the perils are
great, with thieves and robbers as well as many other difficulties to
beset a man on his journey; also there are many different ways seeming
to lead in that direction, yet people are being killed and robbed daily
and cannot come to the place they desire. However, there is one way,
and he would undertake that anyone who takes and keeps to it shall come
to the city of Jerusalem, and never lose his life or be slain or die of
want. He would often be robbed and badly beaten and suffer great
distress on his journey, but his life would always be safe. Then the
pilgrim said: 'If it is true that I can keep my life and come to the
place I desire, I do not care what trouble I suffer on the journey, and
therefore tell me what you will, and I promise faithfully to do as you
say'. The other man answered and said this: 'See, I am setting you on
the right road. This is the way, and be sure to keep the instructions I
give you'.
What so þou heres or sees or felis þat schulde lette þe in þi wey abide not with it wilfully: tary not for it restfully. behold it not. like it not. drede it not. bot ay go forþ in þi wey. & þinke þat þu woldes be at ierusalem'. For þat þu coveites þat þu desires. & no3t elles bot þat. & if man robbe þe. & dispoile þe bete þe scorne þe. & dispise þe: serfe not agayn if þu wilt hav þi lif. Bot holde þe with þe harme þat þu has & go forþ. as no3t were. þat þu take no more harme. And also if men wil tary þe wiþ tales & fede þe with lesynges. for to drawe þe to mirþis & for to lefe þi pilgrimage: make def ere & answer not agayn & sey not elles bot at þu wuldes be at Jerusalem. And if men profie þe 3iftes & wil make þe riche with werdly gode tente not to hem: þinke ay on Jerusalem. And if þu wil holde þis wey & don as I hafe sayde: promise & take þi lif þat þu schal not be slayn. bot þou schal come to þat place þat/[fol. 85] þu coveites
'Whatever
you hear, see or feel that would hinder you on your way, do not
willingly stay with it, and do not tarry for it, taking rest; do not
look at it, do not take pleasure in it, and do not fear it; but always
go forth on your way and think that you want to be in Jerusalem. For
that is what you long for and what you desire, and nothing else but
that; and if men rob you, strip you, beat you, scorn you and despise
you, do not fight back if you want to have your life, but bear the hurt
that you have and go on as if it were nothing, lest you come to more
harm. In the same way, if men want to delay you with stories and feed
you with lies, trying to draw you to pleasures and make you leave your
pilgrimage, turn a deaf ear and do not reply, saying only that you want
to be in Jerusalem. And if men offer you gifts and seek to enrich you
with worldly goods, pay no attention to them, always think of
Jerusalem. And if you will keep on this way and do as I have said, I
promise you your life - that you shall not be slain but come to the
place that you desire'.
Goftly to oure purpos. jerusalem
is as mikel for to seyen as si3t of pes & bitokneþ
contemplacioun in perfit luf of god. ffor contemplacioun is not ellis bot
a si3t of ihesu whilk is verey pes. þan if þu
coveit for to
com to þis blessid si3t of uerey
pees & ben a trew pilgrym
to
jerusalemward: þaw3 it
be so þat .I. wase neuer
þere:
neverles as farforth as .I. kan .I. schal setes þe in þe
waye þederward:
According to
our spiritual proposition, Jerusalem is as much as to say sight of peace and stands for
contemplation in perfect love of God, for contemplation is nothing
other than a sight of Jesus, who is true peace. Then if you long to
come to this blessed sight of true peace and to be a faithful pilgrim
toward Jerusalem - even though it should be that I was never there, yet
as far as I can - I shall set you in the way that leads toward it.
þe bygynnynge of þis hi3e
wey in þe whilk þu schalt gon is reformyng in faiþ
grounded mekly in þe feiþ & in þe lawes of holy
kirke as .I. hafe saide beforn. for
true sikirly þaw3 þu haue synned hard here bifore. if
þu be now reformed bi þe sacrament of penaunce after
þe lawe of holikirke þat
þu art in þe ri3t weie.
Now þan siþen þu art in þe siker weye: if
þu
wile spedyn in þi goynge & make gode Iurnaies: þe
behoviþ to holden þese two þinges often in þi
mynde. meknes & luf. þat
is '.I. am no3t .I. have no3t .I.
coveit no3t. but on' þu schalt hafe þe menynge of
þese wordes in þin entent & in habite of þi soule
lastendly: þaw3 þu hafe no3t specialy þese wordes ay
formed in þi þou3te: for þat nediþ not. meknes
saiþ .I. am no3t .I. hafe no3t. lufe saiþ .I. coveit no3t
bot on. & þat is ihesu: þese two strenges wel
festned with
þe mynde of ihesu makiþ gode acorde in þe
harpe
of þe soule. when þei be craftely touchid with þe
fyngers of resoun: for þe lower þu
smytes up on þat on
þe hi3er sonniþ þat
oþer: þe lesse
þu felist þat
þu art or þat
þu hast of
þi self þruw3 meknes: þe more þu coveites for
to hav of ihesu in desire of
luf: .I. mene not only of þat
meknes
þat a soule feliþ
in þe si3t of his own syn or freltees
& wrecchednes of þis lif: or of þe worþines of
his euencristen: for þaw3 þis meknes be soþfast &
medicynable: neverþeles
it is boistous & fleschly
as in
segnses./[fol. 85v] not
clene ne softe ne lufly. So .I. mene also
þis meknes þat
þe soule feliþ þruw3
grace in si3t & beholdyng
of þe endeles beynge & þe
wondeful godnes of ihesu &
if þou mowe not seen it 3it with
þi
gostly i3e: þat
þou trowe it: ffor þruw3 si3t of his
beynge eiþer in ful
feiþ or in felyng
þu schalt holden þi self not only as þe most wrecche
þt is. but also as no3t in substaunce of þi soule:
þaw3 þu haddest never
don syn: And þat is
lufly meknes: for
in reward of ihesu þat is
soþfastly al:
þu art ri3t no3t: And also þat þu þinke þat
þu hast ri3t no3t: Bot art as a vessel þat standiþ ay
come as no3t were þerin
as of þi self: for doo þou wold so mony gode dedis
outward & inward: til þu have & fele þat þu hast þe luf of ihesu.
þu hast ri3t no3t. ffor with
þat precious licour only
will
þi soule be fulfillid. & with
none oþer. And for as
mikel
as þt þinge alone is so precious
& so wurþi: ffor
what þu hast or what þu dost holde it as no3t for to
resten in, withoutyn þe si3t & þe luf
of ihesu.
Kaste it al bihynde þe
& fagate it. þat
þu mi3te
hafe þat þat is
þe best of alle.
The
beginning of the highway along which you shall go is reforming in
faith, grounded humbly in the faith and in the laws of holy church, as
I have said before, for trust assuredly that although you have formerly
sinned, you are on the right road, if you are now reformed by the
sacrament of penance according to the law of holy church. Now since you
are on the sure way, if you want to speed on your travels and make a
good journey each day, you should hold these two things often in your
mind - humility and love. That is: I
am nothing; I have nothing; I desire only one thing. You shall
have the meaning of these words continually in your intention, and in
the habit of your soul, even though you may not always have their
particular form in your thought, for that is not necessary. Humility
says, I am nothing; I have nothing. Love says, I desire only one thing,
and that is Jesus. These two strings, well-fastened with mindfulness of
Jesus, make good harmony on the harp of the soul when they are
skillfully touched with the finger of reason. For the lower you strike
upon the one, the higher sounds the other; the less you feel that you
are or that you have of yourself through humility, the more you long to
have of Jesus in the desire of love. I do not mean only that humility
that a soul feels as it looks at its own sin or at the frailties and
wretchedness of this life, or at the worthiness of his fellow
Christians, for although this humility is true and medicinal, it is
comparatively rough and carnal,/ not pure or soft or lovely. But I mean
also this humility that the soul feels through grace in seeing and
considering the infinite being and wonderful goodness of Jesus, and if
you cannot see it yet with your spiritual eye, that you believe in it,
for through the sight of his being - either in full faith or in feeling
- you shall regard yourself not only as the greatest wretch that there
is, but also as nothing in the substance of your soul, even if you had
never committed sin. And that is lovely humility, for in comparison
with Jesus who is in truth All, you are but nothing. In the same way
think that you have nothing, but are like a vessel that always stands
empty, as if with nothing in it of your own; for however many good
works
you do, outwardly or inwardly, you have nothing at all until you have -
and feel that you have - the love of Jesus. For your soul can be filled
only with that precious liquor, and with nothing else; and because that
thing alone is so precious and so valuable, regard anything you have
and do as nothing to rest in, without the sight and the love of Jesus.
Throw it all behind you and forget it, so that you can have what is
best of all.
Ri3t as a trowe pilgrym goande to
ierusalem lefiþ bihynde him hows & lande. wife &
childe.
and makiþ hym self pore
& bare for al þat he
haþ þat he mi3t go
li3tly withouten lettynges:
But so
if þu wil be a gostly pilgrym. þu schalt make þi
self
nakid from al þat
þu hast. þat
are boþe gode dedis & baddis. & kasten hem al bihynde
þee. þat þu
be so pore in þin owne felynge.
þat þer be no þinge of þin
owne wirkynge þat
þu wilt lene upon restedly bot ay desirand
more grace of luf. & ay
sekand þe gostly presence
of ihesu. And if þu do
þus. þan schalt þu setten
in þi harte holly & fully. þat þu woldest be at
ierusalem & at none
oþer place/[fol. 86] bot þere: And
þat is. þu schalt
setten in þin herte holly &
fully. þt þu woldest no þinge hafe bot þe luf
of ihesu. & þe
gostly si3t of him. as he wile
schewe hym for to
þt only þu art made. & bo3te & þt is þi
begynnynge & þin
ende. þi ioye & þi blisse.
& þerfore what so
ever þat þu hafe.
be
þu never so riche in
oþer dedis bodily &
gostly:
bot if þu haue þis.
& knowe & fele þat
þu hast
it. halde þat þu
hast ri3t no3t. Preente wel þis resoun
in þe menynge of
þi herte & clefe sadly þerto.
& it schal safe þe fro alle periles
in þi goyng
þat þu schalt
never perischen. & it
schal saf þee
fro þefes & robbers þe whilk I calle unclene
spirites. þat þaw3
þei spoile þee & bete
þe þruw3 divers temptaciouns:
þi lif schal ay be
safe: And schortly if þu kepe it as .I. schal say þe:
þu schalt askape alle periles
& meschiefs & come to the
Cite of ierusalem. with in schort tme:
Just as a
true pilgrim going to Jerusalem leaves behind him house and land, wife
and children, and makes himself poor and bare of all that he has in
order to travel light and without hindrance, so if you want to be a
spiritual pilgrim you are to make yourself naked of all that you have -
both good works and bad - and throw them all behind you, and thus
become so poor in your own feeling that there can be no deed of your
own that you want to lean upon for rest, but you are always desiring
more grace of love, and always seeking the spiritual presence of Jesus.
If you do so, you shall then set in your heart, wholly and fully, your
desire to be at Jerusalem, and in no other place but there; and that
is,
you shall set in your heart, wholly and fully, your will to have
nothing but the love of Jesus and the spiritual sight of him, as far as
he wishes to show himself. It is for that alone you are made and
redeemed, and that is your beginning and your end, your joy and your
glory. Therefore, whatsoever you have, however rich you may be in other
works of body and spirit, unless you have that, and know and feel that
you have it, consider that you have nothing at all. Print this
statement well on the intention of your heart, and hold firmly to it,
and it will save you from all the perils of your journey, so that you
will never perish. It shall save you from thieves and robbers (which is
what I call unclean spirits), so that though they strip you and beat
you with diverse temptations, your life shall always be saved; and in
brief if you guard it as I shall tell you, you shall within a short
time escape all perils and distresses and come to the city of Jerusalem.
Now þu art in þe wey &
knowest what þe place hi3te wheder: þu schalt drawe to:
Bygyne þan for to gon forþ in þi jurney. þi
forþ goynge is no3t elles bot gostly wirkynge & bodily also
whan nede is. whilk þu schalt usen bi discrecioun up on þis
wise
what werk þat it be
þat þu schulde don
after þe
degre & þe state þat
þu standis in bodily or
gostly . if it helpe þis gracious desire þat þu hast
for to lufe ihesu: & make
it more hol. more esy & more mi3ty to
all vertues & to alle
goodnes: þat werke hald
.I. beste. be it
prechynge be it
þinkynge. be it redyng
be it writynge. & as
longe as þat werke
strengþeþ most þin hert
& þi wil to þe luf of ihesu. & sonest drawiþ
þin affeccioun &
þi þo3te fro werldy vanytes
it is gode for to usen it: And if it be so. þat þruw3 use
savour of þat
lesseþ & þu þinkiþ
anoþer werk savour
þe more. & þu felist more grace
in anoþer. take
anoþer & lefes þat
ffor
þaw3 þi desire & þe 3ernynge of þin herte
to ihesu: schulde/[fol. 86v] be ay unchangable. neverþeles þi
gostly werkes þat
þu schalt usen in praynge or
þinkynge for to feden & norischen þi desire. may be
dyvers & may wel be chaunged. after þat þu felis
þe disposed þurw grace
in appliynge of þin own hert.
Now that you
are on the road and know the name of the place you are bound for, begin
to go forward on your journey. Your going forth is nothing else but the
work of the spirit - and of the body as well, when there is need for it
- which you are to use with discretion in the following way. Whatever
work it is that you should do, in body or in spirit, according to the
degree and state in which you stand, it if helps this grace-given
desire that you have to love Jesus, making it more whole, easier and
more powerful for all virtues and all goodness, that is the work I
consider the best, whether it be prayer, meditation, reading or
working; and as long as that task most strengthens your heart and your
working; and as long as that task most strengthens your heart and your
will for the love of Jesus and draws your affection and your thought
farthest from worldly vanities, it is good to use it. And if it happens
that the savour of it becomes less through use, and you feel that you
savour another kind of work more, and you feel more grace in another,
take another and leave that one. For though your desire and the
yearning of your heat for Jesus should always be unchangeable,
nevertheless the spiritual practices that you are to use in prayer or
meditation to feed and nourish your desire may be diverse, and may
well be changed according to the way you feel disposed to apply your
own heart, through grace.
ffor it fariþ bi werkes e bi
desire. as it doþ bi stickes & bi a fire for þe mo
stickes arn leide to þe fiire þe gretter is þe
fire: ri3t so þe more divers
gostly wirkynge þat a
man
haþ in his þo3t for to kepe hol his disire þe
mi3tier. & þe more brennand schal his desire be to god. And
þerfor loke wisely what
werk þu kannist best don. &
þat most helpiþ
þe for to sasen hole þis desir
to ihesu if þou be free.
& art not bounden bot
undir þe
coms laws & þat do bynde þe not to wilful
customes
unchaungebly þat sculden
let þe fredom of þin
herte for to luf ihesu if grace wolde visite þe
specially. ffor .I.
schal telle þe whilke customes are ay gode & nedful to be
kepte. lo swilke custome is ay gode for to holden þat
stondiþ in gatynge of vertues
& lettynge of syn. &
þat custome shuld ned be
lefte: for þu schallt ay be meke
& paciente sober & chaste if þu wel do. & so of alle
oþer vertues. Bot
þe custome of anoþer
þyng
þat lettiþ a better is for to lesen when tyme is
þat a man
may 'as þus. if a man hafe in custome for to sety þus many bodis.
or for to þinken þis manner
of þat þus
longe tyms: or for to waken or knelen þus longe. or ony
oþer sikir bodily dede:
þis custome is for to lefen oun
tyme
when resonable cause lettiþ. or elles if more grace coms in
oþer side.
For it goes
with works and desire as it does with a fire and sticks. The more
sticks are laid on a fire, the greater is the flame, and so the more
varied the spiritual work that anyone has in mind for keeping his
desire whole, the more powerful and ardent shall be his desire for God.
Therefore notice carefully what work you best know how to do and what
most helps you to keep whole this desire for Jesus (if you are free,
and are not bound except under the common law), and do that. Do not
bind yourself unchangeably to practices of your own choosing that
hinder the freedom of your heart to love Jesus if grace should
specially visit you, for I shall tell you which customs are always good
and need to be kept. See, a particular custom is always good to keep if
it consists in getting virtue and hindering sin, and that practice
should never be left. For if you behave well, you will always be humble
and patient, sober and chaste; and so with all other virtues. But the
practice of any other thing that hinders a better work should be left
when it is time for one to do this; for instance, if somebody has the
custom of saying so manyprayers, or meditating in a certain way for a
particular length of time, or waking or kneeling for a certain time, or
doing other such bodily work, this practice is to be left off sometimes
when a reasonable cause hinders it, or else if more grace comes from
another quarter.
[From Table
of Contents in MS] Howe a man þat is in this way shall hafe enimyes to
dryue hym a3eyne, & howe he schal ouer-come hem, bi þe knowing of our Lord Ihesu, & scryft of mouthe & contriticoun of hert, & satisfaction in
dede.
Of tariengis & tempatciouns þat soulis shul fele be here gostly enimyes in here gostly goyng to heuenly Ierusalem, & of remedies a3ens hem.
22. The
delays and temptations that
souls shall feel from their spiritual
enemies on their spiritual journey to the heavenly Jerusalem, and some
remedies against them.
ow art þu in þe wey &
wost how þu schalt gon. Now be war of enmys þat wilom be
bisy. for to lette þe if þei mown. ffor here ententes is
for to putten owt of þin herte þat desire/[fol. 87] & þat
longinge þat þu
hafte to þe luf of ihesu.
& for to
drife þe hom ageyne. to luf of wordly vanyte for þer is no
þinge þat
grefiþ hem so mikel:
þese enmys arn
principally fleschly desires
& vayne dredis þat
risen oute of
þin hert þurw3 corrupcioun
of þi fleschly kynde &
wolden let þi desire of þe luf of god. þat þei
mi3ten fully & jestfully occupien þin hert: þese
arn þi next enmys: Also oþer
enemys þer are. as
unclene spirites þat are
bisy with sle3tes & wiles
for to
descayve þe. Bot .o. remedie schalte þu hafe þat .I.
saide beforne: what so it be þat
þu savor. trow hem not
bot
holde forþ þi wey. & only desir þe luf of ihesu.
Answere ay þis: .I.
am no3t .I. hafe no3t .I. desyre no3t bot
only þe luf of ihesu. If
þin enemys syen to þe first
þus. bi stiringes in
þin herte þat
þou <art not
schreyven. or þer is sume old syne hid in þe hert þat
þu> knowis not. Now is never
schrifen of: & þerfore
þe most turne hom agayn
& lefe þi desire. & go
schryfe þe better trowe
not þis seiynge for it is fals. for
þu art schrifen most sikerly þat þu art in þe
wey. & þe nediþ no more schriftyngs of schryfte for
þat þat is passid.
holde forþ þi wey & þenk
on ierusalem. Also if
þei say þat
þu art not
worþi to hafe þe luf of god which to schalt þu
coveite þat þu
ma3te not hafe. no art not worþi
þerto: Trowe hem not. bot go forþ. & say
þus. Not
for I am worþi. bot see .I. am unworþi. þerfore wolde
.I. luf god. for if I had it. þat schulde make me worþi.
And siþen .I. was made þerto:
þaw3 .I. schuld never
hafe it: 3it wil .I. coveite it. & þerfor
wite .I. praien & þenken þat .I.
mi3te geten it. And
þan if þin enmys seeþ þat þu bigynnist to
wexen bolde & wel willed to þi werke: þei bigynne to
wexen
aferde of þe. Neverþeles
þei wil not cesyn of
taryyinge
whan þei mowen as longe as þu art goande in þe
wey, What wiþ/[fol. 87v]
drede & menasyngs on þat
.o.
side. What with flaterynge.
& fals plesynge on þat
oþer
side. for to make þe breke þi purpos & turne home
agayne. þei wil sey þus.
if þu holde forþ.
þi desire to ihesu so
fully travailande as þu
bigynnest:
þu schalte falle in to seknes or in to fantasies. & in to
frenesies. as þu seest þat
some don: or þu schalt
falle in to þowerte
&
bodili meschief. & no man schal
wil halpe þee. or þou mi3t falle in to pryvie
temptaciouns of þe
feende. þat þu
schalt not kun helpe
þi selfyn. ffor it is wonder perilous
to any man for to gif him
fully to þe luf of god. & lesen alle þe werld. & no
þinge coveiten bot only þe luf of him. for as many periles
mowen falle þat a man
knowiþ not of: And þerfor turne
hom
agayn & lese þis desire for þu schalt never brynge it to
þe ende. & do as oþer
werldly men don.
Now you are
on the way and know how you shall go. Now beware of enemies that will
be trying to hinder you if they can, for their intention is to put out
of your heart that desire and that longing that you have for the love
of Jesus, and to drive you home again to the love of worldly vanity,
for there is nothing that grieves them so much. These enemies are
principally carnal desires and vain fears that rise out of your heart
through the corruption of your fleshly nature, and want to hinder your
desire for the love of God, so that they can fully occupy your heart
without disturbance. These are your nearest enemies. There are other
enemies too, such as unclean spirits that are busily trying to deceive
you with tricks and wiles. But you shall have one remedy, as I said
before: whatever it may be they say, do not believe them, but keep on
your way and desire only the love of Jesus. Always give this answer: I
am nothing, I have nothing, I desire nothing but the love of Jesus
alone. If your enemies speak to you first like this, by stirrings in
your heart, that you have not made a proper confession, or that there
is some old sin hidden in your heart that you do not know and never
confessed, and therefore you must turn home again, leave your desire
and go to make a better confession: do not believe this saying, for it
is false and you are absolved. Trust firmly that you are on the road,
and you need no more ransacking of your confession for what is past:
keep on your way and think of Jerusalem. Similarly, if they say that
you are not worthy to have the love of God, and ask what good it is to
crave something you cannot have and do not deserve, do not believe
them, but go forward, saying thus, 'Not because I am worthy, but
because I am unworthy - that is my motive for loving God, for if I had
that love, it would make me worthy; and since I was made for it, even
though I should never have it I will yet desire it, and therefore I
will pray and meditate in order to get it'. And then, if your enemies
see that you begin to grow bold and resolute in your work, they start
getting frightened of you; however, they will not stop hindering you
when they can as long as you are going on your way. What with/ fear and
menaces on the one hand and flattery and false blandishment on the
other, to make you break your purpose and turn home again, they will
speak like this: 'If you keep up your desire for Jesus, labouring as
hard as you have begun, you will fall into sickness or into fantasies
and frenzies, as you see some do, or you will fall into poverty and
come to bodily harm, and no one will want to help you; or you might
fall into secret temptations of the devil, in which you will not know
how to help yourself. It is very dangerous for any man to give himself
wholly to the love of God, to leave all the world and desire nothing
but his love alone; for so many perils may befall that one does not
know of. And therefore turn home again and leave this desire, for you
will never carry it through to the end, and behave as other people do
in the world'.
þus seien þin enmys bot
trow hem not bot holde
forþ þi desirs. & sey not elles.
bot þu woldest hav ihesu
& ben at ierusalem. And if
þei percieve þou
þi wil so strong þt þu
wil not spare for syn ne for seknes. for fantasies no frenesy. for
doutes ne dredis of gostly temptaciouns.
for meschief ne for poverte.
for lif ne for dede. Bot ay forþ þu wilt with .o.
þinge. & no þinge bot on. & makes def ere to hem as
þuw3 þu herd hem
not. & holdest þe forþ
stifly in þi prayers
& in þin oþer
gostly werkes
withoutyn styntynges. with discrecioun aftir counseile of
þi soveren or þi
gostly fader. þan
bigynne
þei for to be wroþ & to gon a litel ne33e þe.
'þei
bigynne for to robbe þe & bete þe & do þe
al þe schame þt þei kan. And þat is. whan
þei mirth þat
alle þe dedis þat
þu
dost be þei never so wel
don: are demed of oþer
men
als ille & turned in to
þe wers party. And
what so ever it be þat þu woldest have don. in
helpe of
þi body or of /[fol.86]
þi soule. & schal be letted & hindred
by oþer men. so þat þu schalt be put fro
þi wil in al þinge þat
þu skilfully coveites And
al þis þei don þat
þou schuldest be stird to ire or malencoly or yvel wil ageyns
þin evencristen:
So say your
enemies; but do not believe them. Keep up your desire, and say nothing
else but that you want to have Jesus and to be in Jerusalem. And if
they then perceive your will to be so strong that you will not spare
yourself - for sin or for sickness, for fantasies or frenzy, for doubts
or fears of spiritual temptations, for poverty or distress, for life or
for death - but that you will is set ever onward, with one thing and
one alone, turning a deaf ear to them as if you did not hear them, and
keeping on stubbornly and unstintingly with your prayers and your other
spiritual works, and with discretion according to the counsel of your
superior or your spiritual father; then they begin to be angry and to
draw a little nearer to you. They start robbing you and beating you and
doing you all the injury they know: and that is when they cause all
your deeds - however well done - to be judged evil by others and turned
the worst way. And whatever you may want to do for the benefit of your
body and soul, it will be hampered and hindered by other men, in order
to thwart you in everything that you reasonably desire. All this they
do to stir you to anger, resentment or ill-will against your fellow
Christians.
Bot ageyn alle þese diseses
& alle oþer þat
mown falle: use þis remedie. Take ihesu in
þi mynde & angre þe not with hem tary not with hem. bot
þinke on þi lesson< þat þu art no3t. þu hast
no3t & may no3t lese>of erþly goodes þou
coveites no3t bot þe luf of ihesu:
& holde forþ þi
wey to ierusalem with þin occupacioun. And neverþeles if
þu be tared sum tyme
þrugh frelte of þi selfe: with
swilke uveles þat fallen
to þi bodily lif þurgh yvel
wil of man or malice of þe feende as sone as þu mai3te come
ageyn to þi self: lese of þis þinkynge of þat
disese: & go forþ to þi werk: abide not to longe with hem
for drede of þin enemys:
But against all these annoyances, and all others that may befall, use this remedy; take Jesus in your mind, and do not be angry with them; do not linger with them, but think of your lesson - that you are nothing, you have nothing, you cannot lose any earthly goods, and you desire nothing but the love of Jesus - and keep on your way to Jerusalem, with your occupation. Nevertheless, if through your own frailty you are at some time vexed with such troubles befalling your life in the body through the ill-will of man or the malice of the devil, come to yourself again as soon as you can; stop thinking of that distress and go forth to your work. Do not stay too long with them, for fear of your enemies.
[From
Table of Contents in MS] Of a general remedy a3ens wikkid stiringgis
& peynful/[fol.143]
tariengis þat fallen to here hertis of þe fleishe, of þe world, & of þe
fend.
23. A
general remedy against wicked stirrings and painful vexations that
befall the heart from the world, the flesh and the devil.
nd after
þis whan þin enmys seen
þat þu art so wel
witted. þat þu art
not angry
nor hevy ne wroþ ne mikel stired ageyns no creature for ow3t
þat þei mown don
or spekyn agayns þe. Bot settes
þi herte fully for to suffre al þat may falle ese &
unese, praisynge or lackyngr
& þat þu wilt
charge no
þinge with þi
þat þu mi3t kepe
þi
þou3te & þi desire hol to þe luf of god:
þan are þei mikel abasched. bot þan wile þei
assay þe with flaterynge & vayn plesyngs &
þat is
whan þei brynge to þe si3t of þi soule alle þi
gode dedis & þi vertus
& beren up on þer: þat
alle men praise þe:
& spekyn of þin holynes: &
how alle men lufe þe & wurschip þe for þin holy
lyvyngs; 'þis don þin enmys þat þu schuldes
þinken here saying soþ. & hav delit in þis veyn
ioy & resten þe þerin.
Bot/[88v] if þu do wel.
þu schalt holden al swilke veyn iangelynge falshede &
flatering of þin enemy
þat
profer þe to drynke
venom
tempred with hony & þerfore refuse it & sey þu
wilt
not þerof. bot þu
wolde be at ierusalem.
And after this your
enemies
will be much abashed, when they see you so well-disposed
that you are not annoyed, heavyhearted, wrathful, or greatly stirred
against any creature, for anything that they can do or say against you,
but that you fully set your heart upon bearing all that may happen -
ease and hardship, praise or blame - and that you will not
trouble about anything, provided you can keep whole your thought and
your desire for the love of God. But then they will try you with
flattery and vain blandishment, and that is when they bring to the
sight of your soul all your good deeds and virtues, and impress upon
you that all men praise you and speak of your holiness; and how
everybody loves you and honors you for your holy living. Your enemies
do this to make you think that their talk is true, and take delight in
this vain joy and rest in it;/ but if you do well you shall hold all
such vain jabbering as the falsehood and flattery of your enemy, who
proffers you a drink of venom tempered with honey. Therefore refuse it;
say you do not want any of it, but want to be in Jerusalem.
Swilke lettynges þu schalt felen
or
elles oþer like. what of
þi flesch. what of þe werld.
what of þe fende: mo þan .I. may scherkl now: ffor a man as
longe as he suffreþ his þou3ts wilfully gon al aboute
þe werld in beholdynge of sundry þinges: he percerfeþ
few lettynges: Bot als sone as he drawiþ al his þou3te
&
his 3erning to on þinge. only for to hafe þat for to be
þat. for to knowe þat. & for to luf þat
& þat is only ihesu: þan schal he wel
fele many peynful lettynges.
ffor ilk a þinge þat
he feliþ & is not þat
þat he coveite is
lettynge to
hym. þerfor .I. hafe told þe of sum specially as for
example: & ouermore .I.
say generally.
þat what stirrings
þat þou
feliþ
of þi flesch or of þe fende
plesant or peynfull. bitter or
swete likend or dredful. gladsum
or
sorwful. þat wolde drawe
doun þi þou3t & þi
desire fro þe luf of ihesu.
to werdly vanyte. & let utterly
þi gostely coveite þat
þu hafe to
þe luf of him. &
þat þi herte schude be occupird
with þat stirynge restingly. sett it
at
no3t. resceyve it not wilfully. tary not þis wiþ to longe.
bot if it be of werdly þinge þat behoviþ not is to be
don to þi self or to þin evencristen. spede þe
sone of it. & brynge it to an ende þat it hangs not
on þin herte. if it be an oþer þinge þat
nediþ not. or elles it touchiþ not þe: change
it not. iangle not þerwiþ
ne angre þe not. drede it not. like it not. bot
finyte it oute of þin herte redily and sei þus. 'I am no3t .I.
haf no3t. nou3t .I. aske ne coveite bot þe luf of ihesu' knyt þi
þo3t to þis desire & strenþe it. & maynteyne
it with pre3e & with gostly werkes þat þu forgete it not
& it schal lede þem þe ri3t/[fol. 89] wey. & saufe
þe fro alle periles.
þt þaw3 þu fele hem
þu schalt not perish.
& .I. hope þat it
schall brynge
þe to perfit luf of
oure lord ihesu.
' I. am no3t .I. haf
no3t. nou3t .I. seke
ne coveite bot þe luf of iћesu
'
British Library, Harley 6579, fol. 88v.
You
shall feel such
hindrances, or others like them - what with your
flesh, the world and the devil - more than I can recite now. For as
long as a man allows his thoughts to run willingly all over the world
to consider different things, he notices few hindrances; but as soon as
he draws all his thought and his yearning to one thing alone - to have
that, to see that, to know that, and to love that (and that is only Jesus) - then he shall
well feel many painful
hindrances, for everything that he feels and is not what he desires is
a hindrance to him. Therefore, I have told you particularly of some as
an example. Furthermore, I say in general that whatever stirring you
feel from your flesh or from the devil, pleasant or painful, bitter or
sweet, agreeable or dreadful, glad or sorrowful - that would draw down
your thought and your desire from the love of Jesus to worldly vanity
and utterly prevent the spiritual desire that you have for the love of
him, so that your heart should stay occupied with that stirring: think
nothing of it, do not willingly receive it, and do not linger over it
too
long. But if it concerns some worldly thing that ought to be done for
yourself or your fellow Christian, finish with it quickly and bring it
to an end so that it does not hang on your heart. If it is some other
thing that is not necessary, or does not concern you, do not trouble
about it, do not parley with it, and do not get angry; neither fear it
nor take pleasure in it, but promptly strike it out of your heart,
saying thus: 'I am nothing; I have nothing; I neither seek nor desire
anything but the love of Jesus'. Knit your thought to this desire and
make it strong; maintain it with prayer and with other spiritual work
so
that you do not forget it; and it shall lead you in the right way and
save you from all perils, so that although you feel them you shall not
perish. And I think it will bring you to perfect love of our Lord Jesus.
Nevertheles
on þat oþer syde
.I. say
also. what werk or what stirynge it be. þat may helpen
þi desire. strengthe it & norische it & make þi
hert ferþeste fro luste & mende of þe werld, more hole
& more brennande to þe luf of god wheþer it be praynge
or þinkynge or spekynge redynge or
herynge
onlynes or comunynge goynge or sittynge kepe it for þe tyme &
wirk þeryn as longe as
savor lesteþ. if it be so þat
þu take þis with met & drynk & slepe as
a pilgrym
doþ. & kepe discrecioun
in þi wirkyng after
counsel
& ordinance of þa souerayn.
ffor haf he never so grete
hast in his
goynge. 3it he wil in tyme eten & drynken & slepen. do þu
so also. 'for þaw3 it let þe .o. tyme, it schal
forþen
þe an oþer tyme.
On the other hand I also say: Whatever work or stirring it may be that
can help your desire, strengthen and nourish it, and make your
heart furthest from the enjoyment and remembrance of the world, and
more whole and more ardent for the love of God - whether it be prayer
or meditation, stillness or speaking, reading or listening, solitude or
company, walking or sitting - keep it for the time and work in it as
long as the savour lasts, provided you take with it food, drink and
sleep like a pilgrim, keeping discretion in your labour as your
superior
advises and ordains. For however great his haste on his journey, yet at
the right time he is willing to eat, drink and sleep. Do so yourself,
for although it may hinder you at one time it shall advance you at
another.
See
also Walter Hilton, OSA, Augustine Baker, Serenus Cressy, OSB, 'The Parable of a Pilgrim'.
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