JULIAN OF
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THE LIFE OF ST. PAUL THE FIRST HERMIT
ST JEROME

Ruthwell Cross
♫
On the third column of the Ruthwell Cross (sculpted after 710) in
Scotland one sees, second to the bottom, two monks holding one
loaf of bread. This scene is from this tale which follows, which
St Jerome (347-420) wrote in Latin, tongue in cheek, about St
Anthony the First Hermit, in which he pretends there was an even
earlier First Hermit, a St Paul, who never existed except in this
delightful fiction, this 'Legend', peopled with imaginary
Hippocentaurs and Fauns, minted as false coin as in the time of
the pagan Antony, the lover of Cleopatra, which was read to monks
and nuns in refectories while they dined in silence, across
Europe. St Jerome himself tried to be a hermit, then gave it up
and instead translated the Bible into the Vulgate Latin with the
help of a rich Roman mother and daughter, Saints Paula and
Eustochium. C.S. Lewis would borrow from it for his Tumnus in the
Chronicles of Narnia. St
Antony, in Christian art, is shown with his crutch, and often with
a pig at his feet. Jerome can either be shown as a learned
Cardinal in scarlet surrounded by books, or naked. In Jerome's
prayer at the end of this tale, he would indeed be naked, the
Emperor in Hans Christian Andersen's imaginary clothes, there
having been no St Paul who dressed in palm leaves. This is a story
to be read with laughter, to chuckles and guffaws and smiles.
Helen Waddell translates it beautifully.
PROLOGUE
here
is a good deal of uncertainty abroad as to which monk it was who
first came to live in the desert. Some, questing back to a remoter
age, would trace the beginnings from the Blessed Elias and from
John: yet of these Elias seems to us to have been rather a prophet
than a monk: and John to have begun to prophesy before ever he was
born. Some on the other hand (and these have the crowd with them)
insist that Antony was the founder of this way of living, which in
one sense is true: not so much that he was before all others, as
that it was by him their passion was wakened. Yet Amathas, who
buried the body of his master, and Macarius, both of them Antony's
disciples, now affirm that a certain Paul of Thebes was the first
to enter on the road. This is my own judgment, not so much from
the facts as from conviction Some tattle this and that, as the
fancy takes them, a man in an underground cavern with hair to his
heels; and the like fantastic inventions which it were idle to
track down. A lie that is impudent needs no refuting.
So then, since there is a full tradition as regards Antony, both
in the Greek and Roman tongue, I have determined to write a little
of Paul's beginning and his end; rather because the story has been
passed over, than confident of any talent of mine. But what was
his manner of life in middle age, or what wiles of Satan he
resisted, has been discovered to none of mankind.
LIFE
uring the reign of Decius and Valerian, the
persecutors, about the time when Cornelius at Rome, Cyprian at
Carthage, spilt their glorious blood, a fierce tempest made havoc
of many churches in Egypt and the Thebaid. It was the Christian's
prayer in those days that he might, for Christ's sake, die by the
sword. But their crafty enemy sought out torments wherein death
came slowly: desiring rather to slaughter the soul than the body.
And as Cyprian wrote, who was himself to suffer: They long for death, and dying is
denied them. . . .
Now at this very time, while such deeds as these were being done,
the death of both parents left Paul heir to great wealth in the
Lower Thebaid: his sister was already married. He was then about
fifteen years of age, excellently versed alike in Greek and
Egyptian letters, of a gentle spirit, and a strong lover of God.
When the storm of persecution began its thunder, he betook himself
to a farm in the country, for the sake of its remoteness and
secrecy. But
"What wilt thou not drive mortal
hearts to do,
O thou dread thirst for gold?"
His sister's husband began to meditate the betrayal of the lad
whom it was his duty to conceal. Neither the tears of his wife,
nor the bond of blood, nor God looking down upon it all from on
high, could call him back from the crime, spurred on by a cruelty
that seemed to ape religion. The boy, far-sighted as he was, had
the wit to discern it, and took flight to the mountains, there to
wait while the persecution ran its course. What had been his
necessity became his free choice. Little by little he made his
way, sometimes turning back and again returning, till at length he
came upon a rocky mountain, and at its foot, at no great distance,
a huge cave, its mouth closed by a stone. There is a thirst in men
to pry into the unknown: he moved the stone, and eagerly
exploring came within on a spacious courtyard open to the sky,
roofed by the wide-spreading branches of an ancient palm, and with
a spring of clear shining water: a stream ran hasting from it and
was soon drunk again, through a narrow opening, by the same earth
that had given its waters birth. There were, moreover, not a few
dwelling-places in that hollow mountain, where one might see
chisels and anvils and hammers for the minting of coin. Egyptian
records declare that the place was a mint for coining false money,
at the time that Antony was joined to Cleopatra.
So then, in this beloved habitation, offered to him as it were by
God himself, he lived his life through in prayer and solitude: the
palm-tree provided him with food and clothing. And lest this
should seem impossible to any, I call Jesus to witness and His
holy angels, that I myself, in that part of the desert which
marches with Syria and the Saracens, have seen monks, one of whom
lived a recluse for thirty years, on barley bread and muddy water:
another in an ancient well (which in the heathen speech of Syria
is called a quba) kept
himself in life on five dry figs a day. These things will seem
incredible to those who believe not that all things are possible
to him that believeth.
But to return to that place from which I have wandered; for a
hundred and thirteen years the Blessed Paul lived the life of
heaven upon earth, while in another part of the desert Antony
abode, an old man of ninety years. And as Antony himself would
tell, there came suddenly into his mind the thought that no better
monk than he had his dwelling in the desert. But as he lay quiet
that night it was revealed to him that there was deep in the
desert another better by far than he, and that he must make haste
to visit him. And straightway as day was breaking the venerable
old man set out, supporting his feeble limbs on his staff, to go
he knew not whither. And now came burning noon, the scorching sun
overhead, yet would he not flinch from the journey begun, saying,
"I believe in my God that He will shew me His servant as He said."
Hardly had he spoken when he espied a man that was part horse,
whom the imagination of the poets has called the Hippocentaur. At
sight of him, the saint did arm his forehead with the holy sigh.
"Ho there," said he, "in what part of the country hath this
servant of God his abode?" The creature gnashed out some kind of
barbarous speech, and rather grinding his words than speaking
them, sought with his bristling jaws to utter as gentle discourse
as might be: holding out his right hand he pointed out the way,
and so made swiftly off across the open plains and vanished from
the saint's wondering eyes. And indeed whether the devil had
assumed this shape to terrify him, or whether (as might well be)
the desert that breeds monstrous beasts begat this creature also,
we have no certain knowledge.
So then Antony, in great amaze and turning over in his mind the
thing that he had seen, continued on his way. Nor was it long till
in a rocky valley he saw a dwarfish figure of no great size, its
nostrils joined together, and its forehead bristling with horns:
the lower part of its body ended in goat's feet. Unshaken by the
sight, Antony, like a good soldier, caught up the shield of faith
and the buckler of hope. The creature thus described, however,
made to offer him dates as tokens of peace: and perceiving this,
Antony hastened his step, and asking him who he might be, had this
reply: "Mortal am I, and one of the dwellers in the desert, whom
the heathen worship, astray in diverse error, calling us Fauns,
and Satyrs, and Incubi. I come on an embassy from my tribe. We
pray thee that thou wouldst entreat for us our common God who did
come, we know, for the world's salvation, and His sound hath gone
forth over all the earth." Hearing him speak thus, the old
wayfarer let his tears run down, tears that sprang from the mighty
joy that was in his heart. For he rejoiced for Christ's glory and
the fall of Satan: marvelling that he could understand his
discourse, and striking the ground with his staff, "Woe to thee,
Alexandria," he cried, "who dost worship monsters in room of God.
Woe to thee, harlot city, in whom the demons of all the earth have
flowed together. What hast thou now to say? The beasts speak
Christ and thou dost worship monsters in room of God." He had not
yet left speaking, when the frisky creature made off as if on
wings. And this, lest any Hesitation should stir in the
incredulous, is maintained by universal witness during the reign
of Constantius. For a man of this type was brought alive to
Alexandria, and was made a great show for the people: and his
lifeless corpse was thereafter preserved with salt, lest it should
disintegrate in the heat of summer, and brought to Antioch,
to be seen by the Emperor.
But to return to my purpose: Antony continued to travel through
the region he had entered upon, now gazing at the tracks of wild
beasts, and now at the vastness of the broad desert: what he
should do, whither he should turn, he knew not. The second day had
ebbed to its close: one still remained, if he were not to think
that Christ had left him. All night long he spent the darkness in
prayer, and in the doubtful light of dawn he saw a she-wolf,
panting in a frenzy of thirst, steal into the foot of the
mountain. He followed her with his eyes, and coming up to the cave
into which she had disappeared, began to peer within; but his
curiosity availed him nothing, the darkness repelled his sight.
Yet perfect love, as the Scripture saith, casteth out fear:
holding his breath and stepping cautiously the wary explorer went
in.
Advancing little by little, and often standing still, his ear
caught a sound. Afar off, in the dread blindness of the dark he
saw a light; hurrying too eagerly, he struck his foot against a
stone, and raised a din. At the sound the Blessed Paul shut the
door which had been open, and bolted it. Then did Antony fall upon
the ground outside the door, and there he prayed for admittance
until the sixth hour and beyond it. "Who I am," said he, "and
whence, and why I have come, thou knowest. I know that I am not
worthy to behold thee: nevertheless, unless I see thee, I go not
hence. Thou who receivest beasts, why dost thou turn away men? I
have sought, and I have found: I knock, that it may be opened to
me. But if I prevail not, here shall I die before thy door.
Assuredly thou wilt bury my corpse."
And so he stood, pleading, and fixed there, To him the hero
answered, in few words:
"No man pleads thus, who comes to threaten: no man comes to
injure, who comes in tears: and dost thou marvel that I receive
thee not, if it is a dying man that comes?" And so jesting, Paul
set open the door. And the two embraced each other and greeted one
another by their names, and together returned thanks to God. And
after the holy kiss, Paul sat down beside Antony, and began to
speak. "Behold him whom thou hast sought with so much labour, a
shaggy white head and limbs worn out with age. Behold, thou
lookest on a man that is soon to be dust. Yet because love
endureth all things, tell me, I pray thee, how fares the human
race: if new roofs be risen in the ancient cities, whose empire is
it that now sways the world; and if any still survive, snared in
the error of the demons."
And as they talked they perceived that a crow had settled on a
branch of the tree, and softly flying down, deposited a whole loaf
before their wondering eyes. And when he had withdrawn, "Behold,"
said Paul, "God hath sent us our dinner, God the merciful, God the
compassionate. It is now sixty years since I have had each day a
half loaf of bread: but at thy coming, Christ hath doubled His
soldiers' rations." And when they had given thanks to God, they
sat down beside the margin of the crystal spring. But now sprang
up a contention between them as to who should break the bread,
that brought the day wellnigh to evening, Paul insisting on the
right of the guest, Antony countering by right of seniority. At
length they agreed that each should take hold of the loaf and pull
toward himself, and let each take what remained in his hands.

Ruthwell Cross, detail of St Antony and St Paul
Then they drank a little water, holding their mouths to the
spring: and offering to God the sacrifice of praise, they passed
the night in vigil.
But as day returned to the earth, the Blessed Paul spoke to
Antony. "From old time, my brother, I have known that thou wert a
dweller in these parts: from old time God had promised that thou,
my fellow-servant, wouldst come to me. But since the time has come
for sleeping, and (for I have ever desired to be dissolved and to
be with Christ) the race is run, there remaineth for me a crown of
righteousness; thou hast been sent by God to shelter this poor
body in the ground, returning earth to earth."
At this Antony, weeping and groaning, began pleading with him not
to leave him but take him with him as a fellow-traveller on that
journey.
"Thou must not," said the other, "seek thine own, but another's
good. It were good for thee, the burden of the flesh flung down,
to follow the Lamb: but it is good for the other brethren that
they should have thine example for their grounding. Wherefore, I
pray thee, unless it be too great a trouble, go and bring the
cloak which Athanasius the Bishop gave thee, to wrap around my
body." This indeed the Blessed Paul asked, not because he much
cared whether his dead body should rot covered or naked, for
indeed he had been clothed for so long time in woven palm-leaves:
but he would have Antony far from him, that he might spare him the
pain of his dying.
Then Antony, amazed that Paul should have known of Athanasius and
the cloak, dared make no answer: it seemed to him that he saw
Christ in Paul, and he worshipped God in Paul's heart: silently
weeping, he kissed his eyes and his hands, and set out on the
return journey to the monastery, the same which in aftertime was
captured by the Saracens. His steps indeed could not keep pace
with his spirit: yet though length of days had broken a body worn
out with fasting, his mind triumphed over his years. Exhausted and
panting, he reached his dwelling, the journey ended. Two disciples
who of long time had ministered to him, ran to meet him, saying,
"Where hast thou so long tarried, Master?"
"Woe is me," he made answer, "that do falsely bear the name of
monk. I have seen Elias, I have seen John in the desert, yea, I
have seen Paul in paradise." And so, with tight-pressed lips and
his hand beating his breast, he carried the cloak from his cell.
To his disciples eager to know more of what was toward, he
answered, "There is a time to speak, and there is a time to be
silent." And leaving the house, and not even taking some small
provision for the journey, he again took the road by which he had
come: athirst for him, longing for the sight of him, eyes and mind
intent. For he feared as indeed befell, that in his absence, Paul
might have rendered back to Christ the spirit that he owed Him.
And now the second day dawned upon him, and for three hours he had
been on the way, when he saw amid a host of angels and amid the
companies of prophets and apostles, Paul climbing the steeps of
heaven, and shining white as snow. And straightway falling on his
face he threw sand upon his head and wept saying, "Paul, why didst
thou send me away? Why dost thou go with no leavetaking? So tardy
to be known, art thou so swift to go?"
In aftertime the Blessed Antony would tell how speedily he covered
the rest of the road, as it might be a bird flying. Nor was it
without cause. Entering the cave, he saw on its bent knees, the
head erect and the hands stretched out to heaven, the lifeless
body: yet first, thinking he yet lived, he knelt and prayed
beside him. Yet no accustomed sigh of prayer came to him: he
kissed him, weeping, and then knew that the dead body of the holy
man still knelt and prayed to God, to whom all things live.
So then he wrapped the body round and carried it outside, chanting
the hymns and psalms of Christian tradition. But sadness came on
Antony, because he had no spade to dig the ground. His mind was
shaken, turning this way and that. For if I should go back to the
monastery, he said, it is a three days' journey: if I stay here,
there is no more that I can do. Let me die, therefore, as is meet:
and falling beside thy soldier, Christ, let me draw my last
breath.
But even as he pondered, behold two lions came coursing, their
manes flying, from the inner desert, and made towards him. At
sight of them, he was at first in dread: then, turning his mind to
God, he waited undismayed, as though he looked on doves. They
came straight to the body of the holy dead, and halted by it
wagging their tails, then couched themselves at his feet, roaring
mightily; and Antony well knew they were lamenting him, as best
they could. Then, going a little way off, they began to scratch up
the ground with their paws, vying with one another in throwing up
the sand, till they had dug a grave roomy enough for a man: and
thereupon, as though to ask the reward of their work, they came up
to Antony, with drooping ears and down-bent heads, licking his
hands and his feet. He saw that they were begging for his
blessing; and pouring out his soul in praise to Christ for that
even the dumb beasts feel that there is God, "Lord," he said,
"without whom no leaf lights from the tree, nor a single sparrow
falls upon the ground, give unto these even as Thou knowest."
Then, motioning with his hand, he signed to them to depart. And
when they had gone away, he bowed his aged shoulders under the
weight of the holy body: and laying it in the grave, he gathered
the earth above it, and made the wonted mound. Another day broke:
and then, lest the pious heir should receive none of the goods of
the intestate, he claimed for himself the tunic which the saint
had woven out of palm-leaves as one weaves baskets. And so
returning to the monastery, he told the whole story to his
disciples in order as it befell: and on the solemn feasts of
Easter and Pentecost, he wore the tunic of Paul.

St
Antony
St Paul
pray you, whoever ye be who read this, that ye be
mindful of Jerome the sinner: who, if the Lord gave him his
choice, would rather have the tunic of Paul with his merits, than
the purple of Kings with their thrones.
JULIAN OF NORWICH, HER SHOWING OF LOVE AND ITS CONTEXTS ©1997-2017 JULIA BOLTON HOLLOWAY ||
JULIAN OF NORWICH || SHOWING OF LOVE || HER TEXTS || HER
SELF || ABOUT HER TEXTS || BEFORE JULIAN || HER CONTEMPORARIES || AFTER JULIAN || JULIAN IN OUR TIME || ST BIRGITTA OF SWEDEN ||
BIBLE AND WOMEN || EQUALLY IN GOD'S IMAGE || MIRROR OF SAINTS || BENEDICTINISM || THE CLOISTER || ITS SCRIPTORIUM || AMHERST MANUSCRIPT || PRAYER|| CATALOGUE
AND PORTFOLIO (HANDCRAFTS, BOOKS ) || BOOK REVIEWS || BIBLIOGRAPHY ||